I Don't Ever Want To Feel
by CapriciousKarma
Summary: Sakura has finally realized that she's fed up with watching everybody's backs and wants to become stronger. Who would have thought that she would have found help in the form of her teacher? Kakasaku! Chapter 2 is up!
1. Hanging By A Moment

**Hey Everyone!** I just wanted to let you know that this should be a long one, and without much further ado, enjoy the story!

**Chapter 1: **Hanging By A Moment

The first thought that entered her mind was that he was _fast_; his speed went beyond breakneck, it was all consuming. He streaked past her in fluid movements. She could hear him behind her. She could feel the wind brush up against her body as he dashed by. Her heart hammered in her chest.

The only other thought that registered itself in her mind was, _"what in the hell was I thinking?" _What had possessed her to challenge this man? He was obviously her superior in taijutsu, genjutsu and ninjutsu.

Oh yeah, she had wanted to prove herself.

Her breath hitched dangerously as the man ran past her. Why wasn't he attacking? Was this some sort of…scare tactic? Did he want her to run away? Was he laughing at her each time he rushed by her stationary body, coming so close to her, yet always maintaining a fingertips distance between them? Did he think she was so childish that this would work against her?

She hated herself for admitting that she _was _scared.

He was waiting for her to attack; she could sense it. Swallowing, she slid her hand into her kunai pouch, fumbling around for a precious kunai.

She hissed in surprise as one of the man's own kunais scratched the outside of her wrist. Two things happened instantaneously; her head shot up while her hand withdrew from her pouch. Her eyes were wide as she appraised the man. He had stopped momentarily.

"You drew blood!" Her voice trembled slightly.

"This isn't a game," his voice was blasé, "This is a life or death situation, you don't have time to just stand there anymore," he admonished.

"_So he wants this to be strictly Taijutsu?" _She frowned grimly; her determination wavering, _"…life or death… am I ready for this?"_

But, as he said, she didn't have the time to just stand there anymore. In an instant, the man was gone, his speed leaving after images of himself. She blinked rapidly, trying to discern his location; she looked left and right, moving her body into a defensive stance.

"_Where did he go?" _Her thoughts were erratic, _"Is he above me? No. Below me? No. Left? Right? No... Shit!" _

Sakura spun wildly, blocked the first of a series of kicks and punches. Her heart was pounding. Her breaths were ragged pants. She was trying to predict what he was going to do next but she couldn't! It was impossible.

"_Impossible? Do I always have to give up so easily?"_

She squared her shoulders, eyes flashing angrily. She was slowly but surely losing ground. His quick attacks were causing her to cautiously move backwards. She couldn't keep dodging and blocking. Her arms were becoming numb with the effort. She let out an explosive breath as his fist inevitably connected with her dainty waist. She doubled over his fist, her hands clutching his forearm to try and find balance. Pink tresses fanned across her shoulder blades, screening her from him. She coughed, blood flecks coloring his skin.

She raised her head, expressive green eyes narrowed. She didn't want to be babied. Not by anyone and definitely not by him.

"Why did you stop?" Her voice was an angry hiss. His silence made her angry. She flexed her hands, tightening her grip on his arm before using his limb as a lever, raising her body swiftly into airborne status. She aimed a hasty kick towards his ribs, growling as his other arm intercepted the attack easily. She was completely defenseless; they both knew it. But the question now was would attack her?

"_Shit." _

She grinned through the pain as his knee came in contact with her tense stomach. She buckled weakly to the ground, rolling immediately to her left. His booted heel landed dangerously close to where she had been just an instant before. She let out a slow whistle, while thinking, _"Maybe predicting his movements was as hard as I originally thought." _

Preening her feathers wasn't an especially attractive quality, but she couldn't let the moment go without notice. She, Haruno Sakura had finally done something right. She laughed.

Unfortunately, preening her feathers on a battlefield was a mistake. She never saw it coming.

A kunai imbedded itself firmly into her left thigh.

She couldn't stop her eyes from watering, her lips forming a silent 'o' as she looked at her opponent in disbelief.

He charged her, his movements still unbelievably fast. He was in front of her. No. He was behind her. He grabbed her hair roughly, dragging her body up from the ground. A cry escaped her lips. He held a kunai at her throat. The edge of the blade was razor-thin.

The man leaned into her, his voice deceptively calm, "I win, Sakura-chan."

Her knees felt weak. Her lips parted surreptitiously. Kakashi looked up quickly, sensing something that she had yet to catch. His hand slowly started retracting its hold on her hair.

"KAKASHI-SENSEI!" Screamed the voice of a certain blonde-hair boy.

The swift steps of the other two members of Team 7 jogged closer. Naruto looked outraged, his expressive blue eyes were vividly furious and his fists clenched, while surprisingly, his counterpoint Sasuke looked only slightly less angry. As the boys came closer, Kakashi lazily withdrew the kunai from Sakura's neck, his hand fully letting go of her hair and moving to her shoulder, offering a steadying hand for his student.

"What were you thinking Kakashi-sensei? You shouldn't have been so rough with our poor Sakura-chan!"

Sakura's lips pursed resentfully at Naruto's words, even though her heart warmed at his evident concern for her well-being. It was truly amazing how one person could make her feel so displeased and yet pleased at the same time.

Sakura blinked belatedly, realizing after a few minutes that the boys had finally gone silent, but now they were all staring at her, as if waiting for her to say something.

"_Oh... They must've asked me something."_ Sakura felt like smacking herself in the forehead. She had been rehashing the fight that she had just been through. Even though she had lost, she didn't feel the normal bout of depression that was always immediately followed by silent curses about how weak she was. She felt _alive._

"Ehh..Sakura?" Naruto was looking at her closely, his face only a few inches from her own, he was waving his hand in her face, his eyes a mixture of conflicting emotions.

Smiling widely, Sakura shook her head, "Don't worry about me Naruto!" Her eyes flicked over in Sasuke's direction.

How long had it been since she had thought about him in _that_ way? Sakura couldn't even remember.

"_Months? Has it been a year already? When had she given up her dream of being his true love and given herself a new dream of becoming a stronger person?"_

"I'm perfectly alright guys! Don't worry about me, especially if Kakashi-sensei is here." Sakura's voice was placating.

She hated the disbelief in their eyes. She hated it when they thought she was powerless. As far as she could tell, there was only one person in all of Konoha that knew, beyond a doubt that she had potential. That one day, she would grow up and _be_ someone.

She could feel his fingers bunch into her shoulder, reassuring her of his presence, of his belief in her. It was almost like he could feel the self-loathing emitting from her body.

An instant later, his warmth was gone, when she tilted her head to look at him questioningly, Sakura could see that his hands were nestled deeply into his pant-pockets, his shoulders hunched lazily.

"I thought I told you two to do some laps," his voice sounded so passive, but Sakura watched gleefully as the boys looked at each other with nervous apprehension in their eyes. She had to choke down her laughter when she distinctly saw Naruto gulp.

"I see," was all Kakashi said, his eye roving between the two boys. He smiled under his mask, and leaned in closer to the two boys, whispering something that Sakura couldn't quite make out to the over eager blonde ninja. Naruto jumped up excitedly, returning to his laps. Sasuke's arms unfolded from across his chest, his imperious gaze fading slightly before he followed after Naruto.

She noticed that they were trying to outrun each other.

With a wince, her hand moved distractedly to her upper thigh, fingers tracing over the swollen, sensitive skin, the kunai still jammed into her leg.

"We should get that fixed."

Jolted out of her reverie, she looked at the kneeling Kakashi, her bright eyes wide, "I..."

"I'll do it. Here." She was lifted up gingerly, his arms encircling her body easily, like a protective…

"_Like a protective what?" _Sakura didn't want to think about it right now. She felt fuzzy. The only thing she could seem to concentrate on was the physical, the constant throbbing in her thigh.

Taking the slightly awkward moment in stride, Sakura laid her head against Kakashi's chest, her eyes sliding closed as she slowly and silently counted the beating of his heart, a smile gracing her pink little lips.

"_One." _

It was a deep baritone sound, very slow and constant, like the pain emanating from her thigh.

"_Two."_

Without even knowing why, Sakura took in a long whiff, her nose buried comfortably into his Jounin jacket. She could smell rain and soil, deciding rather quickly that Kakashi smelt like woods after a good rainstorm.

"_Three… I think I'm falling even more in… In? In what? I can't fall into anything with Kakashi! The thought alone is… it's just silly, alright? Plain silly." _

But Sakura's lidded eyes opened warily, examining the contours of Kakashi's chest, her smile gone.

"_Five."_

"_Six."_

"_Seven…"_


	2. Can I Please?

I just wanted to thank everybody for continuing to read this!

Disclaimer: Er…I don't own these characters, I think that I totally forgot about that in my first chapter!

…on with the show!

**Chapter 2: **Can I…please?

She seriously couldn't ever remember waking up feeling _so_ rested, comfortable, relaxed, _luxurious_… the list could go on, but Sakura could distinctly remember her mother saying something about how bragging made a person seem, well, snobbish. And, that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"_Especially if the only person you're bragging to happens to be…yourself,"_ Sakura smiled ruefully into the pillow, almost refusing to open her eyes and meet the day. Almost, but she wasn't feeling _that_ lazy.

Taking her time with the whole waking-up process, Sakura arched her back, her head still burrowed comfortably into the pillowcase, fingers and toes curling as she stretched fully on the empty bed. She let out a sigh before lethargically moving up into a sitting position, her eyes slowly adjusting to the light of day.

"_What the..? I wonder why the bed sheets are different…Mom should totally respect my privacy. I mean, I know that pink sheets might be a little juvenile, but why change them to _silver_? What an odd color choice! I…oh,"_ her sight came quickly into contact with another unfamiliar sight, a man's dress shirt: on her.

"_Ok…this is seriously weird, what's going on! Why am I in some guys clothes?" _Sakura looked around the room, her whole body tense, searching for something familiar to connect with, _"Wait…whos room is this anyway? Where the fuck AM I?"_ And just when she was on the verge of a complete breakdown, she caught the scent of rain…

"Kakashi." 

A sigh escaped her lips before she could stop it. For a minute there, she had felt ice-cold dread wind its way down her spine. In all honesty, that's not normally a feeling that a girl likes to experience, especially right after she just woke up.

"_But why am I at Ka- of course, he was taking me to his place to stitch up the kunai wound. D'uh." _Sakura just couldn't help the wave of stupidity that washed over her for feeling so confused about her location; and she unraveled her hand from the silver linen, watching it with somewhat clinical green eyes as it traveled the distance to her bare leg, fingertips hardly touching the upper thigh. She lazily traced the newly stitched-up wound. It had been done properly. She felt a surge of pride for her sensei fill her.

She scooted to the side of the bed, maneuvering her body so that her feet dangled off the beds edge. She placed both her hands on the downy mattress and stood up carefully, testing her thigh before realizing with some satisfaction that she could put her full weight on her leg with only minimal pain. Jade colored eyes glanced curiously out the window, noting the position of the sun, _"It must be sometime around 5:00 pm…jeez, I must've been asleep for at least four hours! You're pathetic Sakura. I wonder where Kakashi went…"_

She found her answer when her eyes dropped to the bedside end table. Besides the stylish black lamp, some spare change and a group picture of Team 7 there was a small little note with flawless handwriting on:

Sakura,

I had to go out for a bit,

Make yourself at home,

I'll be back around 7.

"_Great, my _male _teacher has better handwriting than I do! Can't I do anything right?" _Sakura gave her head a shake at her despairing thoughts; she just wasn't in the mood today.

Her next question came with some very serious consideration and a _very _serious blush.

Where were her clothes?

Why was she standing around in one of Kakashi's shirts?

"_Wait a minute…did he…oh god…did he undress me himself?" _Her face turned beet-red.

She caught a look at herself in the mirror, her blush somehow turning an even brighter shade of red. This shirt barely covered her! She stared at her reflection, her hands pulling fretfully at the material, somehow trying to stretch it so that she'd be somewhat modest.

The shirt barely hung from her shoulder blades, you could easily see the flush of her breast and when Sakura turned around to look at her backside, still unsuccessfully tugging at the fabric, she was shocked to see the smallest hint of her…_white cotton panties!_

"I can't walk around like this! I look like some kind of… skank!" Sakura walked around Kakashi's room for a few minutes, looking for some other sort of spare clothes. "Where does this guy keep his clothes? God damnit…" Sakura grumped around Kakashi's bedroom, opening the closet doors, looking under his bed, searching for a hamper, but her search came up empty-handed. 

With a sigh, she cautiously walked out of Kakashi's room, making sure her movements didn't cause the shirt to rise up _too_ far, "I can't believe his closet is empty, that perv…I bet he did this just to torture me!" Her voice sounded very huffy.

Green eyes widened as they came in contact with Kakashi's apartment.

"_Woah.."_

"This place is **amazing**!"

And, it was. It was spotless. The wood floors were a light beach tone, the furniture was a dark, masculine leather, and there were chrome accents everywhere. It looked as if it belonged in some interior design magazine!

Needless to say, Sakura's bright pink tresses, wide jade eyes and pale skin contrasted with the beautif-no, the handsome room.

Sighing wistfully, Sakura quickly came up with a devious idea.

"I'm alone in Kakashi's apartment…I should be snooping around!" Grinning widely Sakura moved around the living area, looking under the sofa and two-seater, lifting up the cushions, opening drawers, and more or less looking for anything that she could blackmail the poor sucker with.

Except, she couldn't find anything that was out of order or incriminating in the slightest.

Sakura was just about to give up hope on the whole "look around Kakashi's place to find something out about him" plan when she spotted a bookshelf with a whole collection of brightly covered books. She stalked over to the shelf, crouching down to its level. She sighed.

It was just Kakashi's Icha Icha Paradise collection. Sakura trailed her fingers down the spines of the books before slowly standing up. She had already known about his stupid collection of those stupid perverted books.

"_Why couldn't his place be a disaster, like any normal bachelor-pad? Why did he have to be so perfect?"_

Sakura hated these types of thoughts, but when she was constantly surrounded by prodigies, it was a little hard not to be upset every once and awhile. She was right; she just wasn't in the mood right now. Her heart wasn't into being all sunshine and blue skies. Part of her wanted the teenage angst that she normally kept at bay to fill her up.

"No! I do NOT want to be depressed. Just…it's so hard sometimes, knowing that you are weak…" 

"I know…I'll cook something, that always cheers me up." Sakura silently thanked her mother for teaching her the domestic skill of cooking. When she had been young and just learning, Sakura had thought that it was foolish… a waste of her time, but later on, Sakura realized that there came a great joy in oneself when they accomplished something, even something as simple as making Udon Noodles.

A grin cracked the exterior of her melancholy when the thought of Udon Noodles crossed her mind.

"I'll make some for Kakashi, I think he told me once that Udon Noodles were his favorite," she didn't realize that she had been talking to herself until her sentence had ended. She blushed momentarily before moving into the kitchen.

She forgot about her more-than-casual attire, the unfamiliar and slightly intimidating surroundings and her slight melancholia as she emerged herself into the task at hand. She went to the refrigerator and pantry, pulling out the necessary ingredients and took a couple of minutes to familiarize herself with the kitchen. In the back of her mind, she wished that she could be this devoted, no, this confident as a ninja, but she shook the thought as her hands went into the comfortable rhythm of cutting up naruto and green onions. She started boiling water, her eyes flicking to the clock in the room. She would have just enough time to make this and some sort of healthy salad.

Sakura felt happy. She was cooking for Kakashi.

When she finished setting the round mahogany table, humming quietly under her breath, she took a small step back, surveying her work.

The lights in the loft-like apartment were dim; a savory aroma filled the spacious room. She felt proud of herself.

"Maybe I should clean-up… start looking for some clothes again." Her face colored rosily.

Turning on her heel towards Kakashi's bedroom, her back to the front door, Sakura began moving across the apartment, slinking between the furniture. She paused.

"_Wait… what was that?"_ Her hackles rose. She turned around just in time to see the door crack open.

She raised her arms defensively, green eyes narrowed.

The door opened.

"Oh my god…" 

**Author's Notes: **Well, hello there again. I left it hanging a bit, sorry… Also, this chapter is only Sakura, but I'm setting up the foundation here, so be patient! I also would have posted this a few days ago, if I had had the chance to write, except I suddenly came down with a stupid cold! I'm better now though! I just have a stuffy nose. This chapter could have been longer, in fact, I wish it was, I had some more ideas for it, but I wanted to leave you folks in a little bit of suspense. XD

Here's a special thanks to my loverly reviewers:

**sasukegirl, bakasake, Ali-Baba123, kakashidiot, Sora Inu-chan, Ice-Witch 101, sequha, Lady Yevon, Kyo-my-love and finally SilverGhostKitsune**

See you guys soon!


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